Hairdo

 A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:  " Rome ?  Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome .  So, how are you getting there?" 

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"  "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are
you staying in Rome    ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's  Tiber River called Teste."  
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican
and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." 
A month later, the woman again came
in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" 
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." 
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. 

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.." 
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
  
He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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What do Canadians do when they're bored?

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Better be home soon by Crowded House Lyrics

Music!!!


Uma das melhores maneiras de aprender inglês é de uma forma que gostamos.

E música, mesmo que só de vez em quando, todo mundo gosta.

Qualquer música de sua preferência funciona, mas sugiro que comece com ritmos mais lentos e se ainda assim for difícil, procure músicas com poucas palavras.


Tente o seguinte passo-a-passo para aprender com música:



1) Ouça a música toda por duas vezes, apenas ouvindo e lendo a letra.

2) Reescreva a música à mão, tela por tela do vídeo, deixando uma linha em branco entre uma e outra escrita.

3) À medida que vai copiando a letra, sublinhe as palavras novas.

4) Ouça a música novamente, cantando junto.

5) Ouça cada tela da música, pause e cante em seguida, observando a sua pronúncia.

6) Cante tela por tela, pause e toque a música em seguida, para comparar as pronúncias. (inverso ao ponto 5)

7) Repita os passos 4, 5 e 6.

8) Reescreva as palavras novas noutro lugar (caderno, laptop, tablet, etc), busque seus significados e faça pequenas frases possíveis em português, que você possa usar no seu dia-a-dia.

9) Pratique essas frases, alterando-as com regularidade, incorporando novos vocábulos.

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Vídeo Original from +DraxVideos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4r2aIMQHp_G7o5-7HxbIGQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cG9hiljmsI

Motivation: Your worst, your weakest!

Every new word is a new learning!
Every good word is a new challenge!
Every learned word is a chance!

Today's word is: weak
Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well!
Have a nice day!

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Image/Imagem: www.Daily-Motivational-Quote.com

A kind permission by Dr. Bryan Shuetz

Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Irish - Shorts

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run
over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is
cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you. He
must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, And a terrible
lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have
something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
it was, but useless in a fight."

******************************************************

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the
city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the
road.
A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink
this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile."
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms
across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of
your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

******************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin'
to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my
husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident
down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "
I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and
drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go
quickly?"


"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee."

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service,
and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away
last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have
any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask,
Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'


************************************************************************


A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth,
sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk
continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side
either!"
 

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Curiosity: BORROW vs LEND

BORROW vs LEND

Na Língua Inglesa, dois verbos tem a mesma tradução para os falantes da Língua Portuguesa, porém, tem usos diferentes e por isso merecem um destaque.

Nas Terras Brasilis, dizemos:

- Você pode me emprestar sua caneta?

Já nas Terras da Rainha, devemos atentar para QUEM tem a ação, e por isso o que queremos dizer pode não coincidir com o que falamos em português.

- Can you lend me your pen? (Você pode me emprestar sua caneta?)

* É a tradução literal

 - Can I borrow your pen? (Posso pegar sua caneta emprestada?)

* É outra forma também comum, para dizer a mesma coisa.

É muito mais frequente o uso de ambos em perguntas, mas quando a pessoa (no caso, dona da caneta) responde, vai falar em seu nome, ou seja, na primeira pessoa e portanto dizer:
- Yes, I can lend you my pen. (Sim, eu posso te emprestar minha caneta)

Em suma:

Borrow = Emprestar (pedido).

Lend = Emprestar (concedido).

O que nos ajuda também, é que usamos preposições diferentes para cada um deles.
Borrow from.

Lend to.

Lembro que "from" indica a origem de alguma coisa, como em "I come from Germany"

Exemplo: She borrowed the car from her mother. (Ela emprestou o carro da mãe dela) - Pegou o carro da mãe emprestado.

Lembro que "to" indica a direção que algo vai tomar, como em "I go to the beach"

Exemplo: I'm going to lend my laptop to Mark. (Eu vou emprestar meu notebook para o Mark) - Meu notebook vai ficar com o Mark.

É uma dica simples…Se pedimos algo emprestado, “borrow”.
Se emprestamos algo a alguém, “lend”.

Mas atenção com seu pedido. Vamos reforçar:

- Can you lend me your pen? - Quando eu quero que você ME DÊ sua caneta por algum tempo.

- Can I borrow your pen? - Quando eu quero PEGAR sua caneta por algum tempo.

Ambas estão corretas, mas o emprego do pronome (I ou you) faz toda a diferença.

Esse é o #ficaadica de hoje. Simples assim.

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Motivation: Drawing!

Every new word is a new learning!
Every good word is a new challenge!
Every learned word is a chance!

Today's word is: without
Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well!
Have a nice day!

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Image/Imagem: www.Daily-Motivational-Quote.com

A kind permission by Dr. Bryan Shuetz

Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Blondes

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure

my Golden Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted

to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,

"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde,

gave me a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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The Mating Call

The Mating Call

Two Indians and an  Irishman were walking through the  woods. All  of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth  of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he  called into the cave and listened closely until he  heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo!  Woooooo! He  then tore off his clothes and ran into the  cave. The Irishman was puzzled and asked the  remaining Indian what it was all about. 'Was the  other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied  'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian  men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'  into the opening.. If they get an answer back, it  means there's a beautiful  squaw in there waiting for  us. Just then they came upon another  cave. The  second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and  hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'   Immediately,  there was the answer. 'Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off  his clothes and ran into the opening. The Irishman  wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and  then spied a third large cave. As he looked in  amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was  thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size  of this cave! It  is bigger than those the Indians found.  There must be  some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood  in front of the opening and hollered with all his  might 'Wooooo!  Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an  answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO  WOOOOOOOOO!' With  a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced  into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he  ran. The  following day, the headline of the local newspaper  read................ You'll  like this NAKED IRISHMAN  RUN OVER BY  TRAIN! Gostou do artigo? Foi útil? Deixe seu joinha, compartilhe ou comente. Image/Imagem: Lefunny.net Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable) Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Motivation: Level of Success!

Every new word is a new learning!
Every good word is a new challenge!
Every learned word is a chance!

Today's word is: belief
Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well!
Have a nice day!

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Image/Imagem: www.Daily-Motivational-Quote.com

A kind permission by Dr. Bryan Shuetz

Is it your copyright? Please see here.

The Stutterer

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "D d d doc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp mmme?" The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.." The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?" The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords..." The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?" The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one." The guy says, "Dddeal.....Dddo it!" The guy has the operation and six weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on" The doctor says, "P p p piss o o o off. A ddddeal's a dddeal. Gostou do artigo? Foi útil? Deixe seu joinha, compartilhe ou comente. Image/Imagem: Google Images Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable) Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Motivation: To be successful!!!

Every new word is a new learning!
Every good word is a new challenge!
Every learned word is a chance!

Today's word is: breathe
Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well!
Have a nice day!

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Image/Imagem: www.Daily-Motivational-Quote.com

A kind permission by Dr. Bryan Shuetz

Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Argument about Sex

A Japanese couple are having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex:

Husband: "Sukitaki. mojitaka!"

Wife replies: "Kowanini! mowi janakpa!"

Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"

Wife on her knees literally begging
"Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"

Husband replies angrily:
"Na miaou kina Tim kouji!"

I can't believe you just sat and tried to read this -- as if you understand Japanese!
You'll read anything as long as it is about sex.
You need serious help. Sometimes I worry about you.

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Motivation: Try!

Every new word is a new learning!
Every good word is a new challenge!
Every learned word is a chance!

Today's word is: accomplishment
Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well!
Have a nice day!

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Image/Imagem: www.Daily-Motivational-Quote.com

A kind permission by Dr. Bryan Shuetz

Is it your copyright? Please see here.

Democracy and Racism Explained

DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED

 

A Muslim immigrant kid in any part of Australia asks his mother...

"Mama, what's the difference between Democracy and Racism?"

Mother (in Burkha)  - "Well, son, Democracy is when Australian tax payers
work hard every day so that we can get all our benefits..... you know,
like free housing, free health care, free education and grants to build mosques
and community centres, & so on & so forth, you know… that's a Democracy".

"But Mama, don't the Australian tax payers get angry about that?"

"Sure they do…. that's what we call Racism!"

Never more simply explained

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Vocabulário + Estruturas

A proposta é a seguinte:

A cada dia, vamos inserir uma palavra nova no nosso vocabulário, formando frases preferencialmente do nosso cotidiano/realidade, moldando definitivamente as estruturas positivas, negativas e interrogativas, tanto com verbos normais como com o glorioso, intrépido e temido “tóbi”.

Você pode tentar todos os níveis, assim como pode optar por não entrar na brincadeira, mas se exercitar mais, obviamente terá mais rendimento. Toda a ajuda que você precisar, lhe darei com prazer!

É só usar a palavra sugerida na “Daily Motivation”, que lhe mandarei de segunda a sexta pelo WhatsApp (alunos apenas) (exceto em feriados) e tentar montar frases como nos exemplos a seguir:

Palavra sugerida: Motivation

Primeiro nível (simple present):

Com “to be”: (use o pronome que preferir)

- She is in need of motivation.

- She isn’t in need of motivation.

- Is she in need of motivation?

(a ideia é, ao mesmo tempo, gravar a palavra nova e fixar a estruturas. Não importa ser a mesma frase)

Com verbos normais.

- I have motivation.

- I don’t have motivation.

- Do you have motivation?

(na 3a pessoa do singular)

- He wants more motivation.

- He doesn’t want more motivation.

- Does he want more motivation?

Segundo nível (simple past):

Com “to be”:

- You were in lack of motivation.

- You weren’t in lack of motivation

- Were you in lack of motivation?

Com verbos normais.

- I needed motivation.

- I didn’t need motivation.

- Did you need motivation?

(na 3a pessoa, no simple past, não há mudança (verbos e auxiliares são os mesmos) em relação ao exemplo acima, exceto pelo pronome)

* É interessante você ter a mão sua lista de Irregular Verbs.

Terceiro nível (present perfet):

Com “to be”:

- I have been looking for motivation.

- I haven’t been looking for motivation.

- Have you been looking for motivation?

Com verbos normais.

- I have found my motivation.

- I haven’t found my motivation.

- Have you found your motivation?

(na 3a pessoa do singular)

- He has gotten motivation.

- He hasn’t gotten motivation.

- Has he gotten motivation?

* É interessante você ter a mão sua lista de Irregular Verbs.

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Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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