The bronze rat

The bronze rat

A bloke from the bush walked into a Sydney antique shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?' The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story'

The fellow gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!'

As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him.

This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.

He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster.

By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'

'Shit no!' said the bloke, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Asians, a Kiwi and an Indian spin bowler.

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Democracy and Racism Explained

DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED

 

A Muslim immigrant kid in any part of Australia asks his mother...

"Mama, what's the difference between Democracy and Racism?"

Mother (in Burkha)  - "Well, son, Democracy is when Australian tax payers
work hard every day so that we can get all our benefits..... you know,
like free housing, free health care, free education and grants to build mosques
and community centres, & so on & so forth, you know… that's a Democracy".

"But Mama, don't the Australian tax payers get angry about that?"

"Sure they do…. that's what we call Racism!"

Never more simply explained

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Image/Imagem: Google Images

Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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TERROR LEVELS

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed"
to "Peeved." 

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. 

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666. 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military
capability. 

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels . 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of
their allies, just in case. 

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to
"BAAAA!". New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is
"Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us". In the event of
invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic
defensive position called "Bondi". 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!
", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has
warranted the use of the final escalation level. 

Source/Fonte: Received by email

Image/Imagem: Google Images

Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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