The bronze rat

The bronze rat

A bloke from the bush walked into a Sydney antique shop.

After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.

He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?' The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story'

The fellow gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!'

As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him.

This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.

He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster.

By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'

'Shit no!' said the bloke, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Asians, a Kiwi and an Indian spin bowler.

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Three Wishes

Three men - a Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the genie. The Canadian says,'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ' POOF! With the blink of the genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. The muslim was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.' The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says,  'Fill it with water.’

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Image/Imagem: Google Images

Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Democracy and Racism Explained

DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED

 

A Muslim immigrant kid in any part of Australia asks his mother...

"Mama, what's the difference between Democracy and Racism?"

Mother (in Burkha)  - "Well, son, Democracy is when Australian tax payers
work hard every day so that we can get all our benefits..... you know,
like free housing, free health care, free education and grants to build mosques
and community centres, & so on & so forth, you know… that's a Democracy".

"But Mama, don't the Australian tax payers get angry about that?"

"Sure they do…. that's what we call Racism!"

Never more simply explained

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Image/Imagem: Google Images

Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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