Every new word is a new learning! Every good word is a new challenge! Every learned word is a chance! Today's word is: to be off Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well! Have a nice day!
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The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw a parked RAC van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself, that guy's heading for a breakdown.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."Blow that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated
but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said "You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London . Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.
The wife was counting all the 5ps and 10ps out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the fu***ng thing!
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the rear in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya thick eejit !"
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
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Image/Imagem: Refer to image
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)
Uma das melhores maneiras de aprender inglês é de uma forma que gostamos.
E música, mesmo que só de vez em quando, todo mundo gosta.
Qualquer música de sua preferência funciona, mas sugiro que comece com ritmos mais lentos e se ainda assim for difícil, procure músicas com poucas palavras.
Tente o seguinte passo-a-passo para aprender com música:
1) Ouça a música toda por duas vezes, apenas ouvindo e lendo a letra.
2) Reescreva a música à mão, tela por tela do vídeo, deixando uma linha em branco entre uma e outra escrita.
3) À medida que vai copiando a letra, sublinhe as palavras novas.
4) Ouça a música novamente, cantando junto.
5) Ouça cada tela da música, pause e cante em seguida, observando a sua pronúncia.
6) Cante tela por tela, pause e toque a música em seguida, para comparar as pronúncias. (inverso ao ponto 5)
7) Repita os passos 4, 5 e 6.
8) Reescreva as palavras novas noutro lugar (caderno, laptop, tablet, etc), busque seus significados e faça pequenas frases possíveis em português, que você possa usar no seu dia-a-dia.
9) Pratique essas frases, alterando-as com regularidade, incorporando novos vocábulos.
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Every new word is a new learning! Every good word is a new challenge! Every learned word is a chance! Today's word is: do-it-yourself Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well! Have a nice day!
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Every new word is a new learning! Every good word is a new challenge! Every learned word is a chance! Today's word is: count Have you learned any other new word? Use it as well! Have a nice day!
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While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
" Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge." she responded.
